You
know you've been reading too much about the Psi Corps, when...
you think
Vulcans are members of the Psi Corps
you want
to brainwipe someone you really hate
you think
Chekov was really Bester doing an undercover spy mission
your first
son has just been born and you can't think of another name than Alfred
...and
then you think of Byron!
you ask
the Air Force recruiter about the Black Omega Squadron
your wardrobe
only consists of nothing but grey turtlenecks, black trousers and black
jackets
you have
made a PPG
you wonder
why Lt. Barclay bears a striking resemblance to that demented war vet in
Downbelow
...and
you wonder how Bester and this war vet got to different Enterprises in
different centuries via the same rift that ate B4
you are
watching Letterman when the camera flashes to the audience. Two women are
sitting quietly, not laughing at the jokes and wearing black gloves. You
immeadiatly shout: "Psi Corps!"
you begin
to wonder if Bester and Deanna Troi are related
you realize
that "Psychic Friends Network" is actually the PR division of the Psi Corps
you trust
the Psi Corps, because the Psi Corps is your friend
you want
to space mundanes
you turn
a mispritnted M&M upside down and see the the Psi Corps logo instead
of a "M"
you start
wondering why Oliver Stone didn't mention the Psi Corps' involvement in
the Kennedy assassination
you are
shopping for a new vehicle and the only ones that you are interested in
are Dodge Shadows
...and
you ask the salesman to demonstrate the hyperspace capabilities of the
Dodge Shadow
...but
you hesitate when you realize that once you're inside of one of these things
you're never...quite...the same (but you obey)
...and
you make sure your wife WON'T get anywhere near one of those
you begin
to plot the death of the Psi Corps for what they did to Talia
you decide
it's better not to tell yourself what it is that you do not need to know
your boss
tells you that he expects you to read his mind and you immeadiatly suspect
that he might be a Psi Corps spy
you see
a spider on your wall and the first thing you think of is how much it looks
like a Shadow ship
...then
you're afraid to touch it for fear of being cut in half by a purple ray
...heck,
you aren't even going to touch it with your bare hand
...you
wish you had your black gloves with you
...and
then you concentrate you thoughts on the spider in an attempt to make it
go away
you accuse
your co-workers of being Psi Corps and Nightwatch plants, and your boss
of being a Shadow agent
you are
tempted to mindwipe your rebellious teen so you can start over
you stare
at pennies far too long
you're
writing about the Underground Railroad for history class and you type "telepaths"
instead of "slaves"
a
friend won't tell you a secret and you think: "If I only could get a Dust
dose..."
you put
wires on your head hoping to become a pilot for a Shadow ship
you see
a book by Alfred Bester and discard it as Psi Corps propaganda
you go
door to door looking for telepaths to help you in the upcoming Shadow war
before the Psi Corps can snatch them and ship them off to the Shadows
...and
when no one volunteers you believe that the rogues just don't trust you
the letter
Psi causes pain
you wonder
if Garibaldi is in the elevator before the door opens and you enter
you wear
black gloves even in summer
you think
you are a telepath and are trying to run from the Psi Corps
you have
a great day. You're relaxed and happy...then it occurs to you that it may
all be the result of a mindwipe!
your mother
says: "I know what you're thinking.", and you begin to wonder why the Psi
Corps hasn't come for her yet
the Psi
Corps is your Mother and Father
you menace
your enemies with "I'll nail your head to the table, set fire to it, and
feed you charred remains to the Pak'Ma'Ra!"
you hire
a hit man to take out Bester
you want
to join the Psi Corps
you want
to be alone, so you wear black gloves, hoping that people will mistake
you for a Psi Corps member and stay away
you think
that wearing black gloves to a Halloween party qualifies you for the "scariest"
category of the costume contest
you see
someone taking off a glove, and you can't help but shivering
you look
through commercials frame by frame, looking for subliminal messages from
the Psi Corps
you won't
write an omega in physics class...especially not with a black pen
you feel
like dissecting Bester
when you
talk about "Men in Black", you're refering to Psi Cops
each time
you enter a subway, you expect a Psi Cop to talk to you
you believe
schizophrenia to be the result of early Psi Corps experiments
you freak
out in the school bookstore when you see the Psi Corps Symbol on the back
of you psychology book
...and
you decide it's all Psi Corps propaganda
you promise
to remeber Byron
you throw
people out of third-storey windows when you think they are telepaths
you dress
up as a Psi Cop for a costume party...and expect everyone to know who you
are
you refuse
to run software from Electronic Arts because you know that the EA has been
infiltrated by the Shadows and you don't want to use Shadow tech
...and
you're also worried that the software would contain subliminal messages
from the Psi Corps
you write
your Governor telling him to implement spacing as a form of capital punishment
...then
you realize that it's only for treason/mutiny and you suggest mindwipe
instead
you can't
figure out a question during an exam, and you get the prof over to try
to scan him/her